


Never Know This Pain

by dance_tilyouredead



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara is Kara if she had fallen off the rails a lot sooner, Kara is terrible at being human, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Past Alex/Kara, Red Kryptonite, Red Kryptonite Kara Danvers, Saviour Lena, and a helping hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 00:43:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13846458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_tilyouredead/pseuds/dance_tilyouredead
Summary: A car shushes past in the wet street and Kara tugs at her jacket to pull the lead lined collar up around her ears. She doesn’t want the pain, the cries that will follow that sound to her ears. What she wants is quiet. What she wants is a solid plan to get her next hit of Red and a nice comfortable place to ride out her high.--Or the one where Kara is addicted to a kind of Super Meth and Lena is determined to save her. Angst and awkwardness within.





	1. The Alley

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is proudly brought to you by my obsession with Lena Luthor. I've decided that Lena is a secret angst queen that listens to a certain song on repeat as she pines for Kara. The song is The Way I Do by Bishop Briggs.

**The alley**

Kara wonders if chalk feels to humans as brick does to her. She can crumble brick in her hands just like humans can crumble chalk. It must feel the same. She giggles at the thought and the boy crouched across from her sheltering in the same alley looks up startled at the sound. He must be no more than fifteen. Too young for this life on the street, using cardboard for shelter from the autumn drizzle.

A car shushes past in the wet street and Kara tugs at her jacket to pull the lead lined collar up around her ears. She doesn’t want the pain, the cries that will follow that sound to her ears. What she wants is quiet. What she wants is a solid plan to get her next hit of Red and a nice comfortable place to ride out her high. For two days this alley has flooded her nostrils with filth, coated her skin and not even the pleasant numb and mild hallucinations of Red could disguise the noise and feel of rats scurrying too close.

Another car cruises past, close and slow enough that the boy startles, peering out to look.

“It’s just the White Hats,” Kara says with a dismissive snort. She recognises the sound of the soup van rolling to a stop even as rain pounds heavier above them and she has to cower back further into her tarp shelter to stay dry. “You should go get some food, kid.”

He looks at her with scared sad eyes.

“They won’t hurt you. They’re okay.” She scoffs a laugh. “Real heroes.”

The boy raises the hood on his too thin hoodie and stumbles to the end of their alley into light. There’s music spilling out now. Something inoffensive and light with a simple melody. A voice calls in greeting, offering hot food and dry seat to eat at. Kara tries to ignore the grumble of her stomach. She doesn’t need it, she tries to tell herself, but her stomach grumbles again because even ignoring her powers, smothering them with lead, her metabolism is fast – super – as her temperature runs over a hundred degrees.

Finally she gets up, scrubs both hands over her face with eyes burning hot with laser vision to burn away the dirt she knows must coat her cheeks. No need to show these do gooders how low and filthy she is. Her hands shake with the first signs of withdrawal from Red and she shoves them into the pockets of her oversized coat.

Coming out into the light she sees the usual pair of oldies in neat modest clothes handing out soup and biscuits to the line of homeless men and women. The usual crowd, except there’s one more tonight: a woman in expensive clothes is ladelling soup into the bowls that Mr and Mrs White Hat are handing out. She’s tried to dress down, Kara can see, wearing no rings, bangles or dangling necklaces, and no obvious brands, but Kara can see that the stones in her ears are real diamonds, that her boots are a soft premium leather lined with Lambswool.

She’s also beautiful, her dark hair pulled back into a sleek long ponytail and her makeup on point. She clearly doesn’t belong here on the trash and rain soaked downtown street.

Uptown girl, Kara hums to herself with a chuckle.

She blinks and Kara finds herself standing in front of the woman. accepting a fresh bowl of soup direct from her hands.

Missing time already, Kara thinks. This come down will be hard. Damn those crooked skum cutting her Red with who knows what.

She blinks again and she’s sitting with the beautiful woman on an upturned milk crate and she vaguely recalls that this woman’s name is Lena. Lena… something.

“How did you end up here?” Lena asks her earnestly.

“How did you?” Kara doesn’t want to answer so she redirects.

“I want to give back.” Lena chuckles self deprecating. “A cliche, I know, but it’s true. I look around this city, and what I can see too often is…”

“A problem,” Kara offers. She’s used to being looked at as a mess that needs to be cleaned up with as little fuss as possible. But Lena shakes her head.

“People that I could help get back on their feet.”

Kara loses track of the conversation again, coming back into focus with Lena’s face close to hers, a fingertip resting on her knee.

She pulls back, shakes her head, “What was I saying?”

Lena tilts her head. “Midvale?” she prompts. “You came to National City with your sister.”

Kara feels a pit open in her stomach. That’s more honest than she ever wants to be. No one needs to know where she comes from.

Lena watches her shake out her thoughts. “Are you okay?”

“Me?” she makes a noise of dismissal as she fights back a wave of nausea. “Yeah of course. Haha, why wouldn’t I be anything other than fine? I’m me. I mean you don’t know me per se, but well…” She’s babbling she knows, and yet can’t seem to stop. “Yeah. I’m easy peasy japanesey.” She finally manages to stop herself talking as the world starts to spin a little with Lena’s concerned face at the center of the disturbance.

“Kara?”

Great, apparently she gave this stranger her name. “I’m fine.”

Lena reaches out, but doesn’t touch Kara. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

Whatever answer Kara gives, she can’t remember as she regains her senses as she follows Lena to a very nice, very clean black car with a driver in the front.

Lena open the back door and turns back to her. “My home’s quiet, I promise. And dryer than the street. You can get cleaned up and rest a night.” Her eyes flick down to Kara’s water stained sneakers before wandering upwards over her torn jeans, the strip of exposed midriff she can see between the lapels of her coat and back up to her face again. There’s an uptick in the speed of Lena’s heartbeat and Kara thinks she knows what she missed in the walk to Lena’s car.

//

**Lena’s loft**

Kara luxuriates in the shower only long enough for the water to run clear, for her hair to be clean. She indulges in the conditioner so her wavy hair won’t spring into frizz as it dries. It makes her smell like flowers and coconut. Thankfully not so potent to distract her. She thinks of the woman out in the apartment waiting for her. Lena Luthor, she thinks and realises she must have missed that introduction though now it makes sense. That is a woman who needs to clean up her image.  
  
She wonders idly if Lena knows Kara’s an alien and brought her here to kill her, but decides that no, Lena brought her for something much more pleasurable.

Leaving the bathroom wrapped in the fluffiest towel she’s ever experience, Kara finds Lena in her living room cradling a glass of scotch and gazing out her floor to ceiling windows at the city below.

“Looks nice from up here,” Kara mentions.

Lena startles and glances back at her, reverting her eyes back to the city quickly. “Kara. Yes, yes I suppose it does,” she says without conviction.

Kara smirks when she hears Lena dry swallow. It’s quite predictable, she thinks, how people react to her body. There’s another glass on a small table beside Lena and Kara picks it up noting the scent of expensive scotch. “For me?”

“Hmm,” Lena hums. “Feel better?” she asks turning to face her more fully.

In response Kara lifts the scotch and throws it back in two deep swallows, feeling Lena’s gaze on her throat. She does feel better. Clearer headed after the hot shower and she’s ready to show Lena her considerable gratitude.

Kara sets down the empty glass then takes Lena’s and sets it beside her own on the small table. Lena blinks at her, dry swallowing again as she’s forced to look at Kara fully. Kara who has tied the towel so it sits low showing off the top of her breasts, the muscles in her shoulders.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Lena stutters as Kara turns back to her, stepping into her space with a deliberate step.

Kara doesn’t reply, she lifts one of Lena’s hands to press it against her cheek, let’s Lena really feel how hot her skin is. She knows it’s something humans find curious, that it’s something they enjoy. She holds the back of Lena’s hand and Lena sucks in a shuddering breath, her pupils dilating and her heart beat thundering even as she tries to maintain a veneer of composure.

“You can find the...” Lena trails off, clearly not sure what she’d meant to say.

“This is what you want.” Kara doesn’t need to ask. She knows how these things go. A high powered woman like Lena Luthor doesn’t give over something for nothing. Kara also knows what the look in Lean’s eye means. Attraction, ardent desire, even tempered by sympathy and worry is something that Kara recognises well enough. And it’s not as if Lena isn’t beautiful. If this woman wants to fuck Kara for the privilege of a hot shower and temporary shelter, then well… Kara has done worse things for less.

“Kara I don’t think—” whatever Lena wanted to say is lost to a sharp inhalation of breath as Kara turns to press her lips wet and soft to the palm of Lena’s hand.

Another kiss follows and with the next, Kara lets her tongue slip between her lips, feeling gratification as Lena’s already fast beating heart accelerates, her pulse strong and her temperature rising, flushing her face and body in the minute and oh so human way that Kara loves to see.

She moves her lips to Lena’s wrist, reveling in the way that Lena’s breath catches afresh with each new placement of her lips. Lena keeps making small noises in the back of her throat, either like she wants to say something or she’s trying to hold back whimpers – Kara isn’t sure.

As Kara steps more into her space their shared heat sparks something deep in Kara. It’s something – a deep tingling warmth that she’s not felt from anything other then Red in a long time. She feels her own desire responding to Lena’s. And still Lena just stands there, not ready to take from Kara what she’s obviously brought her here for.

Fine, Kara thinks, if that’s how Lena wants to play it. Kara can be a switch when the situation calls for it. She wraps her other hand around Lena’s waist letting the towel fall to the floor.

“Kara, I didn’t – I don’t – this isn’t—”

“What else could you want from me?” Kara demands, stepping naked into Lena’s body.

Lena’s eyes skate over Kara’s naked breasts before snapping up to stare at the ceiling. “N-Nothing.” She exclaims sounding almost exasperated except for the shake in her voice.

Kara laughs. “Everyone wants something from me, Lena. Everyone.” She lets her hand pull Lena closer against her, nudges her feet between Lena’s so her thigh presses against the apex of Lena’s thighs. Lena’s eyes flutter shut.

“Well, not me.” Lena tugs her hand loose from Kara’s grip. “I assure you.”

There’s a long pause while Lena stares into Kara’s eyes.

And another before Kara, listening to Lena’s heartbeat, her body and breath for any sign of a lie realises.

“Oh.” Kara stares at her blankly.

“Yes,” Lena says in relief. “ _Oh_.”

“You actually mean that don’t you,” Kara says in a quiet surprised voice.

“Yes I really mean it. I want to help you. You don’t have to do… this.”

Kara chews over that for a few moments before remembering that she is stark naked and steps back, picks up the towel to hold against her. Heat starts to creep up her face as she realises what she’s done. How she just propositioned the most powerful woman in this city without apparently that woman wanting any such thing.

“Now I’m embarrassed,” she admits aloud. She’s embarrassed herself plenty since she discovered Red, but not like this, not when she’s relatively sobre and with someone who genuinely only wants to help.  
  
“It’s okay,” Lena insists though she’s still red in the face and looking anywhere but at Kara.

Kara wraps the towel around her properly. “I’ll go get dressed. And maybe ah… turn in.”

“Yes. There’s pajamas in on the bed. My spare room is down the hall to the left.”

Kara feels embarrassed all over again. “Spare room. Check.” She moves in the direction indicated by Lena’s vaguely waving hand.

As she reaches the door Lena calls out. “Kara?”

She turns back. “Yes?”

“Sweet dreams.”

“You too, Lena.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I don't know what this is. But I fell into the Kara/Alex rabbit hole so there's that. There's also a healthy serving of these hopeless queer women "let's be bffs" action. Enjoy!

Kara wakes with the first pink of dawn stroking her skin and washing away the last of her come down haze. It’s pleasant enough that she considers staying, enjoying soft expensive sheets. But today she is in a beautiful apartment full of expensive things.

She gets dressed in a whirl of speed and leaves the room to survey the apartment. Massive TV, some stock standard jewelry and a solid gold timepiece that could get her enough cash at the pawn shop for her next hit and a couple nights in a flea motel. Lena probably won’t even notice this stuff gone for a couple days.

She flies through the room in a whirl of super speed packing away trinkets and solid silver cutlery into a Gucci bag. She lets her hearing focus in on the room where Lena sleeps, expecting to hear a steady heartbeat and the light breathing of sleep. Slow and deep enough to know that the cops won’t be on top of her. Instead, she hears a quiet cry, the rustle of sheets and a fast heartbeat, the sounds of fear – a dreadful and terrible fear that makes Kara grip the bag in her hand tight enough to stress the leather. Lena Luthor, in her ivory tower, suffers terrible nightmares.

“No please,” Lena cries and Kara when she focuses tastes salt tears in the air.

Kara hesitates so long that the pink of dawn is turning golden. “Dammit,” she sighs and puts everything back where she found it.

//

Lena is dreaming again. She’s in that courtroom with Lex staring at her, heartbreak and betrayal in his eyes. Lillian is there too, the heat of her gaze hot as Lena lists their crimes adding details to the nodding prosecutor for the state. There’s a shimmer of fear palpable on her tongue and then Lex and Lillian bot shiver and transform into hulking beasts with fangs and fur covered claws. Lillian takes Lena into giant monstrous fists.

“This is what happens,” she hisses with Lex. The courtroom doors slam shut and they’re grabbing at jurors and witnesses, tearing strips of flesh from their bones for Lena to witness. “When you betray us. Everyone suffers.”

And then Lena feels the knife of a monstrous claw dig into her own flesh. She cries out in pain.

“Lena?” The judge says. She glances over and the grey-haired judge has become a young woman. “Lena, you’re dreaming.” And Lena wakes.

Kara.

Kara is here, she’s dressed as if to leave, but she’s sitting on Lena’s bedside shaking her shoulder and calling her name.

“Lena, wake up, you’re okay.”

Lena lurches from sleep and grabs at the nearest warmth. She grabs at Kara and suddenly long lean arms replace the claws around her and the sweet smell of flowers fills the air.

Kara is murmuring soft words. “It’s okay, you were dreaming. It’s okay now, it’s okay.”

Lena shouldn’t hold on, she should be strong. This stranger should not see her like this, but then Kara is pulling her closer, lying down with her and Lena lets go, crying in great shuddering breaths as a young woman she doesn’t know strokes her hair.

“What happened?” Kara asks the simple questions.

“Lex. I betrayed him, sent him to prison.” The words trip out of Lena’s mouth without permission. “If he gets out…”

Kara doesn’t comfort her with platitudes or assurances regarding the Metropolis police force, she just keeps stroking her hair. “What makes you feel better?”

Lena doesn’t know. God, she doesn’t know because these nightmares come, the suffocating weight on her chest steals her breath without her permission and all she can do is wait it out.

When no answer comes, Kara tries to guess. “Music?” She asks. With still no answer she tries again. “A movie? Reality TV?” Lena shakes her head at this and she feels Kara’s arms tighten patiently as if she’s happy to keep guessing until the right answer appears. “You’re a science person right?”

Lena stills, her crying shifting to hiccups in the confusion of someone knowing something beyond the CEO of Luthor Corp. Kara hums like she knows she’s onto something.

“Physics?” She tries, then, “No, more like engineering.”

Lena nods then and Kara settles herself more comfortably, shifting Lena effortlessly into her arms.

“So,” Kara hums. “How about the periodic table?”

Lena nods again, the tears finally ceasing as Kara hums quietly then begins in a slow steady rhythm.

“There are Hydrogen and Helium, then Lithium, Beryllium, Boron, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen so you can breathe, Fluorine, Neon for the most annoying buzz, Sodium which makes potatoes taste great…”

Kara goes on in order, with odd side comments on some elements “Gold is good to pawn for cash and Mercury helps me keep a disguise…” and Lena falls back to sleep somewhere between Polonium and Radon.

//

When Lena wakes again from a dreamless sleep, Kara is gone.

//

In the following months, Lena moves her volunteering efforts to the soup kitchen a few blocks from her apartment. They insisted she didn't have to, that the donation was enough, but Lena knows it's not enough, never enough. So many of the people they help are alien refugees, so many of the aliens out of work and on the streets because her brother’s war with superman fueled the prejudice that keeps them from being “worker material”.

She’s hardly thought about the young woman she brought home with her that night. Well, she tried not to think about her, in between thinking of her far too often and looking for her down every street and alley she passes. So as she hands out rolls with little American flags left over from 4th of July she’s not prepared to look up and be greeted by clear blue eyes and a smirk that doesn't quite hide Kara's surprise.

“Lena Luthor.”

“It’s you.” Lena finds the pleasure of seeing Kara again is clear in her voice.

They stare at each other a few moments, unsure what to say until the next person in line clears their throat. Gills ruffle in indignation as this alien, clearly hungry doesn’t appreciate them holding up the line.

“I’ll see you when I’m done serving?” Lena doesn’t know why she says it. Maybe to thank this strange woman for holding her through her nightmare induced panic attack.

“Maybe.” Kara’s expression is shuttered again, though her eyes are bright and her motions are fast and glittery as she take the offered bread roll.

The next time Lena gets a chance to look out over the dining hall, she’s disappointed to see no trace of shining blonde hair. She takes long enough staring around the fluorescent-lit room that the next person waiting has to wave a hand for her attention. She turns, annoyed, to find that it’s Kara again; her frown turns into an involuntary smile. She looks over Kara’s outfit, amusement rising. Kara has replaced her long brown coat for a button up shirt with her hair in a ponytail. It’s a disguise, Lena thinks. A terrible disguise.

“You know we’re only meant to give one serving per person.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Kara’s voice has gone up an octave and that’s confirmation that Kara has attempted to disguise herself for a second serving of food. Her tray is full again, so if anyone else saw through the ponytail, they don’t seem to mind giving her another helping. Lena offers over the second bread roll and Kara smiles, sunny and bright. “Thank you, Lena Luthor.” She says it with a wink so obvious that Lena feels a blush hit her cheeks as she smiles in return.

The third time, Lena laughs aloud. Kara has added a pink sweater and glasses to her ensemble and again has a heaping serve of food on her tray.

She asks, “Where do you put it all?”

Kara just quirks an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you could possibly mean. I’ve never been to this establishment before.” And this time Lena is sure she’s flirting and she’s blushing again as Kara takes the roll and walks slowly to a table, glancing back at Lena so she’s sure she sees her sit down, take up her fork and feed a gravy-soaked carrot into her mouth with obvious relish.

Lena feels her mouth go dry. “I’m taking a break,” she says to no one in particular then hands over her serving tongs to the nearest unoccupied volunteer.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing. It’s the first thing her lawyers told her when she first announced her intention to help with the food van after hours: don’t get personally involved with individual people. Instead, here she is, getting personally involved. Maybe she can’t help it. Maybe it’s just Kara.

So she sits down without a plan in her head and the first thing she says is, “Are you high right now?” So smooth.

Kara’s expression immediately shutters. “Pretty sure that’s none of your business.” But her eyes are wide, her movements jittery and there’s a red glow to her skin that doesn’t seem like any natural blush.

“I apologise.” Lena looks down, fiddling with her fingers at the place her rings usually sit. “I actually came over here to thank you. For the other night.”

The shuttered look softens slightly and the agitated movements shift to grand gestures instead. “Pft no, you don’t have to thank me for that,” she waves one hand in front of her face, almost hitting Lena’s nose. “You should thank me for not stealing your TV.”

Lena’s eyes go wide. She hadn’t even thought of that.

Kara barrels on. “And it’s a nice one too. Could’ve gotten like two hundred bucks for that baby.” Her arms go wide. “Like what sixty, seventy incher? Golly, yep. Big bucks.”

“Thank you?” Lena’s stuck again. “Do you usually steal from people that help you?”

Kara just grins around a mouthful of potatoes. “If they can afford it. Or if they’re assholes.”

“And which one am I?”

Kara looks her up and down speculatively. “Well I thought you were an asshole like your brother and that Dragon Lady, but now… I’m still deciding.”

Lena stares at her for a few long moments before letting out a laugh. Kara laughs along as well as if she wasn’t the one that started it all. Then Kara starts asking questions about Lena and Lena finds herself answering until somehow they’ve been talking for so long that the tables have been cleared around them and the last volunteer hands Lena the keys for the soup kitchen. Margaret runs the van and has at some point decided she likes Lena, must even trust her.

“These are my spares, so just bring them back in a few days, Sweetheart.” She hands over a jangling ring of keys with a wink and then Lena is alone with Kara.

“Hmm,” Lena hums an ironic sound.

“What?” Kra looks genuinely interested.

Lena looks at her speculatively, biting her lip. Kara’s eyes flick down to her mouth and Lena lets go. “My lawyer says I shouldn’t get involved.”

Kara raises both eyebrows at her.

“As in personally,” Lena rushes to say. “I shouldn’t make friends with…”

“Poor people?” Kara finishes for her.

Lena doesn’t know how to answer in a way that isn’t horribly offensive. She doesn’t think that’s what he meant particularly. “He’s worried I might be taken advantage of.”

“Typical man,” Kara says and Lena laughs. “Please,” Kara huffs, “You took over Luthor Corp at what? Twenty-five and now it’s better than ever. I doubt you’re so easily used.”

Lena stares at her for long moments. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

That was the wrong thing to say. It’s not even what she meant to say. It just slipped out. Kara scrunches up the napkin in her hand hard. “You don't need to save me, Lena Luthor.”

“That’s not—”

“Yes it is,” Kara replies bluntly. “And you can save your hero complex for someone who really needs it.”

Lena doesn't know what to say. After at least an hour of quite frankly the best conversation Lena’s had in months, the turn is enough to give her whiplash. Kara nods as of her silence is confirmation.

“Catch you later, Whitehat.” And in a blur that Lena barely has time to register she’s gone.

Lena blinks. Hard. And takes a long deep breath to steady the nerves she didn’t know had accumulated. This woman isn't Lenas problem. Kara doesn't even want her assistance, but still she cant help but want to help her. It’s frustrating and confusing so Lena pushes the feeling away to clean up the table they’d occupied all through cleanup. When she goes to pick up the napkin, she finds only the shredded, powdered remains under where Kara's hand had been. Somehow Kara had held so tightly that the paper had turned to dust.

Which means… what? Lena turns over everything in her mind, the pieces not quite falling into place. Whoever Kara is, she's strong. Strong in a way that makes Lena shiver. She sweeps up the remains of paper determined to pretend she never noticed. She’ll pretend that the last hour doesn’t feel like a horribly ruined opportunity. She’ll pretend that the fear or… whatever this feeling is that's coursing through her body never happened.

//

Kara streaks away, irrational rage storming through her body until she’s ready to burst. She runs through the city, too fast to be seen, only the wind that she kicks up in her wake giving any sign she’s there. It’s exhilarating enough that the anger starts to fade. Instead, Kara starts to think beyond the final few moments of her time with Lena. Before the pity and sincere Whitehat sympathy took over her features, Lena was fun to be with. Especially high as she is; just looking into the multicoloured iris of Lena’s eyes is enough to occupy Kara’s attention.

As Kara launches off the ground and speeds toward the stars she lets out a gasp of laughter, delighting in the feel of wind in her hair, brushing past her cheeks. She starts to think maybe she misjudged Lena. It wouldn’t be the first time she thought the worst of someone when she was high as she is now. Maybe Lena Luthor could be a friend.

Kara laughs again out loud, flying in jagged loop de loops and blasting out freeze breath for the fun of knowing some poor fool down below will have a conniption trying to understand why it’s snowing only in the place he’s standing. She wonders what being friends with a Luthor might look like. Maybe like living on the edge of something incredibly dangerous. Kal would certainly have something to say if he knew she was even considering making friends with Lex Luthor’s little sister. But then again, what better reason to do something than to annoy the stuck up super darling of Metropolis. Alex too would give her an almighty glare of disapproval. 

On a whim, Kara scans the city below, trains her hearing for her adoptive sister’s distinctive heartbeat. She finds Alex in her lab at the DEO and flies closer to get a visual on her. Alex rubs at her neck as she leans back from her microscope then scribbles something on a notepad by her elbow. It’s such a familiar image that Kara feels a wave of nostalgia wash over her. She remebers a fifteen year old Alex madly researching some microbe for extra credit in Biology because she’s a big nerd. Kara’s thoughts drift to the night before Alex left for college.

“I don’t want you to leave, Alex.” Kara had whined pitifully.

“You’ll be following me soon enough,” Alex said. She’d said it so many times in the previous months that the words had started to lose all meaning.

Kara just hugged her closer, determined to have every moment of physical contact with Alex before she had to leave. They were curled up in Alex’s bed, Alex’s hands combing through Kara’s hair. They’d been sleeping side by side in the narrow single bed for the past few weeks and Kara had trouble imagining sleeping alone again. She snuggled her nose against Alex’s neck and hearing Alex’s heartbeat increase, couldn’t help the way her own heart rate picked up. She pulled away from Alex, taking off her glasses to see her properly.

“Kara?” Alex asked in a shaky voice. Whatever she saw in Kara’s expression made her swallow and Kara reached over her to leave her glasses neatly folded on the bedside table.

Kara didn’t know what she wanted to do. She only knew that her best friend was leaving in the morning and whatever happened now, this was their last chance to be so close. She didn’t pull back from their position with Alex lying on her back and Kara holding herself up over her. She didn’t pull back because then she could feel Alex’s quick heartbeat just as clearly as she could hear it. She could see the flutter of Alex’s eyelashes, could see the flicker of her widening pupils as Kara leaned in.

Their first kiss was sweet and soft, and everything Kara never knew she wanted. More. She realised at that moment with Alex's hands pressed against her lower back that all the gentle touches between them had led to this. When she was still only fourteen and learning to control her strength, Alex had volunteered her own body, letting Kara run fingertips across her arms, legs, back. The game was to be so soft and gentle that she’d make goosebumps raise on Alex’s skin. All the years of experiments in being gentle meant Kara knew Alex’s body almost as well as her own.

She ran her fingers up under Alex’s sleep shirt, drifting over the hard jut of her hip, the sharp inhalation of breaths lost between their shifting mouths as Kara shifted closer, their legs tangling. The kiss deepened and her whole body was on fire with the contact, nerves jangling with every new brush of Alex’s lips against hers. Kara’s hands never stopped as she explored every inch of Alex’s stomach, then her ribs, first, second third slipping under her fingertips to the edge of the delicate swell of her breasts.

Alex whined into her mouth and then her tongue was slipping past Kara’s lips and Kara’s hands moved of their own accord. Both her hands grasped at Alex’s breasts, hardened nipples pressed to her palms and Kara thought she could die from the pleasure of it. Moving, pressing and gently grasping until suddenly Alex gasped in a way too rough to be pleasure and she was pushed back onto her back on the bed. Alex with her eyes squeezed shut pulled her fists against her own chest, visibly working to control her breath.

When Alex could finally look at her, they stared at one another for several minutes catching their breaths.

“Kara,” Alex started and Kara could see she was about to be let down easy.

“It’s okay,” Kara interrupted before the words could come out. “Can we still just snuggle?”

Alex’s relieved breath broke Kara’s heart just a bit more but she accepted Alex’s open arms and curled in close to her. It was their last night together and this is all she had wanted before. She curled back into Alex’s body, slipping just her thumb under Alex’s shirt to feel her skin. There was one sharp breath, but eventually, Alex relaxed and they both fell asleep tangled in each other and feeling as loved as two people can be.

In the present, Alex gets up from her seat, stretches out her back and shoulders luxuriously, and slips off her lab coat. Unlocking her phone, Alex glances over her notifications, looks closer at one, examining something before her expression changes. Kara can hear her heart accelerate and then she looks up, staring squarely at Kara as if she can see her through all the concrete, glass and steel of the city block between them.

“Kara.”

Kara knows that Alex keeps tabs on her, that the DEO has the technology to track most of the aliens in National city. This though is the first time she’s seen proof of Alex watching her exact movements. Alex is watching her from afar. That knowledge makes something like hurt sit in her belly.

Sometimes she does something so blatantly alien that she thinks Alex will have to come personally intervene and she’ll have a chance to hold Alex again. But that’s only when she’s sober and feeling maudlin. Right now, Kara is very much in the present, very much feeling indestructible and capable of doing anything… of doing whatever the hell she wants. And right now, shaking off her thoughts of the past, she wants to make friends with Lena (possibly an evil genius) Luthor.

She decides there and then. Kara Zor-El will be Lena Luthor’s new best friend.

//

The next day Lena calls her EA into her office.

“You’ve got a ten o'clock with a representative from Wayne industries, then ten thirty with Graham Norwell if you would like me to—”

“Thank you, Jess,” Lena interrupts. “But there's something else I need other than the schedule.”

At Lena’s long pause, Jess looks up from her tablet to meet her eyes.

Lena takes a breath, agonising for a few seconds more over the decision she’d made sometime around 3 am last night. “I want you to engage our usual PI.”

“Oh?” Jess doesn't look surprised. She's paid very well to be as discreet with her feelings as she is with all L Corp secrets.

“Yes, I'd like some information on a woman i've met during my… volunteer work. I'm afraid she may be a corporate spy.” It’s a lie. Kara’s no spy. Jess may even know Lena’s lying after so long working with her, but Lena powers on. “She says her name is Kara, no last name. From Midvale. Likely living somewhere near my home. “There are no more details, but I can give a physical description if necessary.”

Jess nods, make some notes on her tablet. “Anything else Miss Luthor?”

Lena lets out a sigh of relief. “That will be all.”

Lena will find Kara again, and it won’t be an accident this time. This young woman is too bright, too lovely to stay on the streets. Hero complex or no, Lena will be Kara’s friend. Whether she likes it or not.

//

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days?? I am in trouble... Please enjoy my angsty fluffy nonsense.

James Olson gets the call early on Sunday morning. He’s been employed by Luthor corp before, then L Corp after Lena Luthor took over. Just small jobs really and he stays away from any of their shady activities. Not his first choice of course, but after failing out of CatCo, he has little choice when it comes to work. As much as he made a name for himself in Metropolis, National city is a very different place. With no friends and no network he has to do what he can for cash. Including working for Luthors.

“So, Miss Luthor, you want me to find someone named Kara?” James had ignored the familiarity of the name at first. It’s not so uncommon. This Kara that Lena Luthor is searching for isn't necessarily Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El.

Lena looks him up and down. He is obviously not what she expected Jimmy Olson to be. “Mr Olson, I expect your full discretion in this matter.”

“That’s what you hire me for, Ms Luthor.”

Unfortunately when James walks away some ten minutes later with a full physical description, he knows exactly who lena Luthor is looking for.

  
He goes to Alex first.

“What do you want Jimmy?” She barely looks up from her work, the notes from a stake out following an alien he’s sure must lead to something dark.

“Its James now, Lexie.” He suffers the glare with a smirk and moves on. “I’ve been commissioned for a job you might be interested in.”

J’onn Jones strides in around Alex to front against James. “And why would the DEO care about a PI taking snaps of hollywood affairs and shady politicians?”

James stands straighter, his six foot frame nearly meeting the Martians height. “You care, because Lena Luthor is having me follow. Kara Zor-El, cousin of Superman. I believe you have a vested interest.”

Alex snaps to attention. “Luthor?”

“Yes,” James says. “Lex’s little sister is very interested in Kara Danvers.”

//

Alex doesn’t trust James. For all that Superman believes in him, would do anything for James Olson, it seems like this new James is trying too hard to make a name for himself outside of the Super brand. And he's not afraid to get involved with shady shit to do it.

As it is, she took James’ message at face value, kept J’onn from locking him away on principle and starts watching James from afar. Surprisingly, he does exactly what he said he would, watching Kara and reporting back to Alex on the regular. He gives the same information to Miss Luthor, minus the alien activity. He says he doesn’t give away Kara’s alien origins, but Alex is convinced Lena has her own suspicions regardless. Occasionally Alex watches on as Lena scrapes a near unconscious Kara off the sidewalk and coaxes her home. Lena sets Kara in a spare bedroom with the curtains drawn open for first light to recharge Kara’s stength.

When Alex James returns the fouth time, Alex’s posture, her voice is all business. “Do you think she knows who Kara is?”

“I think Lena has suspicions, but it seems like…” James hesitates.

“Seems like what?”

“Like she genuinely cares for Kara. Like they’re friends.”

Alex looks at him dubiously. Kara doesn’t do friends. Not since she fell into Red Kryptonite and embraced the worst of herself.

She remembers the first time she found Kara, swirling in the dark of their apartment, high as a kite on Red. After months of drowning her fear and sadness in the bottom of Fruhaghal, Kara had hunted down something stronger, made contact with a mad chemist in Gotham City. She stole crystal’s from Kal’s fortress, as if it wasn’t clear how far off the rails she’d fallen.

Alex had tried to reach her for weeks, insisted that Kara deserved better than this new life she was living.

“What do you know about what I deserve?” Kara demanded

“You are good, Kara.”

Kara laughed and her laugh turned maniacal. “You could come with me,” she said, stepping into Alex’s space. She was wearing a tiny red dress and her thighs pressed against Alex’s, her hands snaking around her hips. “We could be queens, ruling this city.”

Alex shook her head. “That’s the Red talking,” she says. She’d seen other aliens under its influence, all grandeur and foolishness. Over-confidence personified.

“But picture it,” Kara presses on. “You, me. Remember the fire we had? Even as children, we had something… special.” Kara was leering at her then, making Alex shiver.

“No Kara. Stop.” Alex pushed her back and then Kara was gone in a flash.

Alex tried to help afterwards, tried to reach out to her, but she was in no position to even help herself. It was still another six months before Hank would pull her out of that jail cell and bully her into making something of herself.

When she finally confronted Kara after she was stable in her own sobriety, it was all she could do not to sob and clutch Kara close to her chest. Instead she pleaded with her to come home. She refused.

Alex never knew what to do with Kara on Red K. She has no concept of what Kara has gone through, has no idea what could bring her back from this destructive cycle. But maybe, maybe Lena Luthor understands that darkness. Maybe Lena Luthor could find Kara where she is on the edge. Maybe Lena Luthor could be the one to bring her back.

//

How does Lena Luthor deal with having a new person in her life? One that she likes and very much wants to become friends with? She has her followed by a private investigator. Followed so that every movement is seen, documented and reported back to her. It’s creepy and invasive. She knows this. And under normal circumstances she’d never consider it, but these are hardly normal circumstances are they?

She knows that James Olsen isn’t telling her everything. She knows that there’s more to Kara than the mundane movements of a homeless woman in National City. Kara moves around as if without purpose until something hits the headlines worthy of a hero. That’s the connection that Lena has made on her own. When James claims that Kara has fallen silent, been lost in the crowds, Lena sees how things fall in line. There’s a murderous gangster or some corrupt politician that deserves to be caught, that deserves to be punched in the face and suddenly Kara had a quiet weekend.

Kara might have told her to drop the hero complex, but if Lena is right, then there is a hell of a hero hiding close to the surface in Kara too. So when James admits that Kara has hit another low point, that Kara is in an alley, not far from L Corp with not two dollars to rub together, Lena drives to pick Kara up. She takes Kara to her own home, makes sure she has a shower and a warm bed and isn’t upset when Kara is gone in the morning. Especially when her TV and all the jewellery in her house remains in their place.

She keeps James Olson on the books and as months pass, she doesn’t mind making sure that Kara is safe and dry. She remains Kara’s friend, and Kara? It sees like Kara remains hers.

//

Kara floats high above the city, shirt fluttering around her body as she scans the only bank she needs to know about.

Turns out, when police are distracted by frequently rampaging aliens and shady government organisations, they don’t have much time for investigating white collar crime. Which makes National City bank something of a money laundering mecca. Which is why Kara has started making it a target. She honestly doesn’t know why it took her so long to consider this. After two years of petty theft, she realised that National City is full of bad guys that need to be taken down a peg or two.   
This morning she heard the news about the latest crime boss slipping away from police in his million dollar yacht, likely with several trafficked women and illegal servants on board. She knows this jerk keeps his money here. She’s no hero, but she has her standards. And this guy is a prime target for some light thievery and destruction of property.

She watches the building for twenty four miserable hours before she makes her move. Her skin itching under her grey hoodie and jeans. It’s been a few days and Kara doesn’t like being this sober. Everything is too bright, too loud. She needs to hit up her supplier again and once she does and her head is clear, she’s going back to Lena’s place, this time with something other than sex on offer. Then again sex would be…

No. Not on the table. After Lena’s stern refusal, Kara is nearly convinced of Lena’s heterosexuality. She’s going to offer friendship. Partially because Kara is sick of going through every day alone, partially to annoy Kal and Alex to the extreme once they inevitably find out.

At the bank, security guards are thick at the door, which is fine because the main vault will be closed and unattended for the next fifteen minutes. More than enough time for Kara to get in and out without being seen.

//

The sirens have been screaming outside Lena’s apartment for the past hour and according to the news a breakin at National City Bank is to blame. Some brazen individual broke into the main vault at peak hour making a mess so fantastic that it may take months to figure out what’s missing.

The story transitions to the docks then with a news anchor standing in front of an impossibly placed yacht sitting sideways on a concrete platform. It belonged to a career criminal the police wanted to connection with human trafficking. The man himself was found dangling by his underwear from a light post, proof of his crimes stapled to his chest; his victims were left at the airport with their passports returned and thousands of dollars each.

The anchor explains, “These women should be allowed to return home with most of the cash as compensation once they have given their statements and seen the judge.”

A knock at the door startles Lena out of her evening TV vegetation and she stands abruptly. No one should have even gotten to the door without her being alerted first. She peers down at the door security display cautiously. Kara Danvers waves with vigour on the other side and a smile pulls at Lena’s lips as she unlatches the door to open it. She glances past her toward both ends of the hallway. There’s windows at each end, but on the twenty-third floor, there’s little chance of Kara climbing through them.

“How did you get up here?”

Kara just laughs and brushes past her into Lena’s apartment. There’s two massive pizza boxes with a bag of what smells like chinese food under one arm, several bottles of alcohol clinking in a bag hanging from the other.

“I’m sneaky,” she says with a wink and moves straight for the kitchen. Her movements are quick and agitated again, but Lena says nothing. If she’s going to befriend Kara, she can’t be judgmental about what she does with her life. At least, not out loud.

//

Kara finds it easy to be friends with Lena. Even easier than she had imagined and the early evening dinner turns quickly to couch drinks and cheesy movies.

“What are you drinking?” Lena asks, cradling the wine Kara had brought. Her eyebrows had gone up at the obviously expensive bottle with a question, but she’d seemed to believe Kara when she said she’d absolutely paid for everything she brought.

Kara takes another sip of her lightly sparkling, lightly radioactive liquor. “It’s called Frugal,” she says skipping over the alien sounding click in the middle.

“Can I try it?”

“Absolutely not.”

Lena laughs and Kara grins.

  
When it gets too late to justify staying awake, Kara looks at Lena. She wants to kiss her, but Lena has kept the distance between them respectable and now isn’t the time. After such a nice night with someone she genuinely enjoys spending time with, Kara has become acutely aware of just how lonely she’s been. Lena is a good friend.

“What was that?” Lena asks.

“Hmm?” She wonders if she said something aloud without meaning to. The martian alcohol she’s been sipping all night can do that.

“You’re my friend?” Lena asks.

“Well sure. I don’t hang out with my enemies, do you?”

“I suppose not.” Lena chews her lip as if she wants to ask Kara something important. Instead she covers a yawn then says, “You can stay in the guest room if you like?” It’s a question and Kara remembers running out of the soup kitchen that time with a pang of regret.

“I’d like that.”

  
Hours later, Kara wakes in the guest room to the unmistakable sounds of Lena having another nightmare. It’s a bad one going by the thundering of Lena’s pulse and Kara doesn’t hesitate to leave her bed to cross the hall and enter Lena’s room. She finds Lena has tossed aside her sheets in sleep, far more fair skin on display in tiny sleep shorts and a singlet than usual. Kara swallows back the thoughts such a sight provokes and sits down next to Lena, shaking her shoulder gently.

In moments, Lena is once again wrapped around her, the distance present for the rest of the evening gone. “Fuck, Kara, I don’t know how to make it stop. Everytime I close my eyes all I see is Lex and and—”

“Shh shh,” Kara shushes Lena, laying down so that she can look her in the eye. She pushes Lena’s hair away from her sweaty forehead and wraps her arm loosely over her side. “It’s okay, it’s over now.” Lena’s eyes are filled with tears. “Turn around,” she instructs.

After a brief hesitation, Lena does as she’s told and Kara is able to press in close to Lena’s back, her knees pushing at the back of Lena’s until they’re close together with Kara curled behind her. She runs her fingertips lightly up and down Lena’s bare arm until Lena’s breathing is steady again.

//

Lena wakes up with a start, light streaming in through her windows and strong arms tight around her, a powerful heat keeping her deliciously warm. She experiences a moment of panic before she remembers what happened in the early hours of the morning. Her nightmares and Kara coming in to hold her, still holding her now.

She allows herself to enjoy it for just a few moments longer. Kara is her friend after all. She propositioned her that night out of obligation, nothing more. And Lena doesn’t need anything else. No matter how the feel of Kara’s breath on the back of her neck makes her shiver. She prepares to slip free, but as soon as she moves, Kara’s arms tighten around her like a vice. What had seemed moments before to be supple delicate arms are now hard muscle and steel.

And wow. If Lena could pretend she wasn’t turned on before… now she has no other option than to admit that yes she is incredibly attracted to her new friend, and incredibly turned on right now. Who knew being so helpless would be so sexually stimulating. Lena sure didn— Kara shifts again and okay, Lena has to admit that she’s dabbled in some light sub activities before, but this is hardly the same thing and hardly the time to be thinking about that.

“Kara?”

“Hmm?” Kara’s grip tightens and suddenly oxygen is a problem.

“Too tight, Kara. Too tight,” she gasps.

“Hmm? Oh. Sorry,” she mumbles sleepily and her arms pull back part way, grazing over Lena’s hips.

Lena’s eyes slip closed at the feel, her heartbeat speeding up. She can practically feel the grin on Kara’s face as she bites at her lip and presses her thighs together. Kara’s hand strokes up Lena’s side, over her ribs on a journey to Lena's breast…

Lena grabs her hand to pull it away from her body. “I told you. You don't owe me anything.”

“I know,” Kara replies and her voice is a low husk that Lena feels go straight to her vagina.

Lena lets go and Kara’s almost hot touch keeps running up and down her body, sliding over her hips and over her belly, her thighs, hitting every erogenous zone any lover has ever found. Lena had discovered how hot Kara ran, that her skin felt fevered all the time. With Kara’s light hot touches and breath on her throat she’s working Lena up into a mess of desire even faster than expected, breathing heavily, her hips shifting and pressing back against Kara’s.

She pants Kara’s name and strong hands grab her hips, urging her to turn around. She follows easily and then Kara’s lips are on hers. It’s intoxicating and fulfilling in a way that a first kiss has no right to be. Like they’ve been building to this since the first night they met. Kara rolls her over and straddles her with a knee either side of her hips. She floats above Lena without pressing down, but Lena wants the pressure and she pulls at Kara’s shoulders until she relaxes down, moaning into Lena’s mouth. The connection and pressure are blissful.

“Fuck, Kara.”

Kara just groans in response and Lena licks her lip, bites down hoping to get a curse out of her before the end. She’s not heard Kara curse once, no matter how high she is…

High. Lena pushes at Kara’s shoulders as something occurs to her. Something dreadfully inconvenient to think of right now. But she can’t help it. Kara responds instantly to the hands on her shoulders, leaning back.

“Are you okay?”

“Kara.” Lena is panting. “Are you high right now?” She braces for the annoyance she experienced the last time she asked, but it doesn’t come.

Kara just groans in frustration as her head falls to Lena’s shoulder. There’s some mumbled words that Lena can’t hear past the rush of blood in her ears.

“What was that.”

Kara grumbles again before falling sideways onto the bed, her hand dragging over Lena’s stomach. “Yes,” she whines with a pout.

Lena doesn’t really understand and says as much.

Kara looks at her. “You’re not going to have sex with me are you?” Kara’s pout is still strong and Lena has to fight the urge just to kiss her again.

She sighs. “Kara, you should understand that I can’t very well do something like this with you when you’re under the influence of… whatever it is you take.”

Kara has never hated the Red more than she does right now. Still thrumming through her veins, still undoubtedly showing in light pulses through her skin.

“You are, aren’t you.”

Kara sighs. “Yes, but I feel good.”

“I’m sure you do.”

Kara feels a thrum of arousal at the sound of Lena’s voice. “Do you expect me to get sober for you?” she asks suddenly.

Lena looks at her seriously. “I won’t ask anything of you, Kara. I’m your friend. I want the best for you. But you’re an adult.”

That’s not the answer Kara was expecting. She was almost ready for anger, but the answer leaves her feeling oddly empty.

Lena continues. “If you choose to get clean, I am here for you.”

Kara nods slowly. She doesn’t know what that looks like. Being sober and turning away from Red K. Alex has tried enough times before. After she took her own journey up from rock bottom. But Kara hasn’t wanted to. Still doesn’t want to with the world trying to press in, ready to take a hold of her head and her heart to tear it apart. She has nothing left. Her home world, Kal the last of her family that left her as a child on the edge of adulthood with a family she didn’t know. The world that sees anything alien and deems it violent and dangerous. No. Kara isn’t ready.

Kara slips her hands up to hold Lena’s face, presses her lips firmly to Lena’s one last time. “Thank you.”

Lena must hear everything that Kara doesn’t say and she looks sad as she pulls away.

//

Alex finds Kara sleeping in a car. As Kara wipes the fog of condensation off the inside of the window she supposes it's at least better than actually sleeping on the street where snow has started to gather in grubby piles on the sidewalk.

“What are you doing here?” Kara rubs at her face, climbing out.

Alex pulls her into a hard hug. “I wanted to see you. You hungry?” Kara feels warm and they fit together as they always have, Alex not wanting to let her go.

Kara hums and they turn together for the nearest diner.

  
“You’ve still got plenty of appetite,” Alex muses over her second coffee as Kara digs into her third helping of hotcakes.

Kara stick out her tongue and digs in with even greater relish, pouring more syrup across the stack.

“What have you been up to?” Alex knows for the most part, but she wants to hear it from Kara. “Made friends with anyone new?”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Keeping tabs on me?” Alex just raises her eyebrows over her coffee and Kara sighs. “Yeah, I have made a friend actually. Do you have a problem with that?”

Alex isn’t sure. As much as she’s glad Kara has a connection to the world again, it seems dangerous. “Lena Luthor. Why her?”

Kara’s laugh is natural and Alex relaxes into the sound. “I like her.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Kara says it firmly before her smile turns mischievous. “And I knew it would piss you off.”

Alex shakes her head. “Of course”

They leave Lena Luthor as a topic as Kara makes her way through a burger and fries. Kara asks about the DEO which she isn’t supposed to know about, and Alex asks after the robberies that she isn’t meant to connect to Kara.

“I think… I think maybe I like doing this.”

“A regular Robin Hood?”

Kara’s scrunched up nose makes Alex laugh.

It’s a real conversation, the first they’ve had in months and Alex feels like it’s the start of something new.

Kara says she’s been off Red for a six days.

“How does it feel?”

Kara groans. “It sucks.”

Alex doesn’t ask if this sobriety is going to stick. Instead she offers Kara a place to stay.

“I’ve got a spare room now, you know.”

Kara looks like she might consider it and that means the world to Alex.

  
It takes a month for Kara to show up on her doorstep with a backpack slung over one shoulder. They don’t talk about it. Alex just lets her in, they have dinner together and sit down to watch the Bachelor like the past two years never happened.

“She’s definitely the crazy one.”

“No way, it’s that Renee chick in the back. Way too clingy.”

//

The dinner and movie nights with Lena become a regular thing too. She stays with Alex most nights and at Lena’s on others. Sometimes Kara is high and delights in teasing Lena throughout their evening.

“Is the big bad Luthor using threats to make me eat Kale?”

Lena’s smile is stiff until Kara grabs her around the waist and tickles her until there’s tears of laughter in her eyes and is swatting at Kara’s back to be let down.

Sometimes Kara’s sober and things are more subdued, but comfortable. Lena doesn’t mention the difference though she does snuggle closer on the couch, letting Kara wrap an arm around her shoulders as they share a blanket.

“Do you think Meg Ryan was the last of the great rom-com actors,” Lena asks.

Kara throws a piece of popcorn at the side of her face. “Anna Kendrick is the queen of romantic comedy and I’ll brook no arguments.”

  
Some nights, Kara has been dabbling in heroics. It starts out slowly. A thwarted mugging one week, a car wreck the next where she pries out a woman and her child, the mother sobbing uncontrollably as she thanks Kara over and over. It feels good. Really good and she finds herself leaving her lead lined coat at home, letting in the sounds of the city for a few hours at a time.

Kara hasn’t told Lena.

She doesn’t know if the new pattern of her days and nights will continue or if the novelty will wear off and she’ll just be back where she started. She finds the idea of disappointing Lena uncomfortable to say the least. So when Alex finds an alien-friendly Narcotics Anonymous, she agrees to go along.

“Hello I’m Kara.”

“Hi Kara.”

It’s the most uncomfortable hour of her life.

//

Lena can see that Kara is trying. She’s trying so hard that when she arrives for their movie night with her eyes bright and a glow to her cheeks, Lena can’t help but feel disappointed.

“Oh Kara,” the words escape without permission, but Kara barely notices as she breezes past Lena with four takeout bags in her hands.

“Do you know that there was a massive pile up on the freeway?” She sounds jovial, grabbing plates and opening containers in the kitchen.

Lena closes the door and approaches cautiously. “I saw something on the news.” She keeps her voice even, but just barely. She had seen the news. She saw the footage of a young woman in a hoodie helping free people from the wreckage. Kara’s still wearing the hoodie. There’s the smell of smoke and fuel clinging to her hair.

“Yeah, so do you know what happens to people in a sedan when they get hit by a truck travelling at 80 miles an hour?”

Lena swallows. She doesn’t want to imagine.

Kara picks up a bag with one dumpling left inside. “They’re a smear on the freeway.” With the bag and dumpling between both hands together, Kara claps them together with a snap. A visceral demonstration as minced meat and vegetables spread across the bag. Lena thinks she might be sick.

“Kara, you can’t save everybody.” Lena is also tired of pretending she doesn’t know.

“Oh I know,” Kara laughs. “I know I can’t, which is why Kal is so so stupid, and why I,” she laughs again more hysterical and her eyes flash red, then black before returning to blue. She shoves an undamaged dumpling into her mouth and talks around it. “I don’t care. I don’t care and I don’t try. It’s not worth it.”

She continues babbling on about how pointless everything is, how she’s above it all anyway, but Lena can barely hear any of it. She can’t stand by this time without saying anything. She tells Kara she’s going to the bathroom and grabs Kara’s phone on the way. She finds Alex’s number and types out a message on her own phone.

“Kara’s here. She’s using again. Come quick.”

She adds her address and rejoins Kara.

  
//

Alex gets the message and is on her motorcycle within two minutes, breaking speed limits to reach Lena’s place in ten. A second message let her know that the door was unlocked. She breezes past the doorman with her FBI ID and lets herself in to Lena’s apartment. There’s take out across the kitchen bench and Kara is settled next to Lena shoveling pot stickers into her mouth and laughing at something on the TV. Lena’s back is ramrod straight and she’s sitting as far from Kara as the couch allows. She looks up with relief to see her and then Kara is vaulting over the back of the couch to sweep Alex up into a too tight hug. Alex holds her back feeling tears putting a lump in her throat.

Then, they pretend. Kara introduces them with wide gestures.

“Lena, this is my oldest best friend Alex. Alex, this is my newest best friend, Lena.” She beams holding both their hands.

They settle back in front of the television and it’s not until Kara goes to the bathroom that they have a quiet rushed conversation.

“What happened?” Alex asks in a whisper.

“Did you see the pile up on the freeway?”

“On the news, yeah.”

Lena glances at the bathroom door again. “I think Kara went in to save everyone, but she couldn’t and it was all too much. She couldn’t save everyone and...” Lena trails off, gesturing to the bathroom.

“What do we do? Is now a time for an intervention—”

“I don’t know. She’s been trying so hard. And,” there’s tears welling in Lena’s eyes but she swallows against them. “I don’t want to lose her.”

They both jump as the door opens, revealing Kara frowning at them both, hands on her hips. She’s glaring for a moment and Alex stiffens beside Lena. Did she hear? Kara’s glare doesn’t hold. She tsks, shaking her head. “I have super hearing, you know. And you’re so human. You can’t even imagine”

Alex glances at Lena, unsure how much she knows. The shock on her face suggests this is news. Then again, it might also be the way that Kara is floating just a few inches above the floor. She looks feral as she laughs at them both. Lena stands and Alex joins her to cautiously approach Kara. As they move, Kara’s face flickers between glee and uncontainable grief. Like two halves of Kara fighting for control. One, the Kara high on Red and above it all, the other a Kara that has been trying so hard to move past her survivor’s guilt, trying so hard to rebuild some semblance of a life.

The internal battle shifts and finally the grief wins out, Kara falling so fast that Alex barely manages to catch her, to help her gently to the floor. Then Lena is with them, all three tangled together as Kara sobs and sobs into Lena’s shoulder and Alex runs soothing fingers through Kara’s hair.

  
They end up asleep in Lena’s bed with Kara laying between them, two sets of arms wrapped snugly around her.

//

Another month passes with Alex spending almost as much time at Lena’s apartment as Kara. Kara loves having her sister around and hugs her often, thanks her even more than that. That last night on Red was harrowing to say the least. She doesn’t know if she would have survived without both of them there with her.

When the Red was less powerful in her system and the tears had dried leaving her feeling tired and vulnerable, Lena and Alex just held her closer than before.

They didn’t ask her to talk, but she did, “It’s like I can’t shut it out anymore. All the…” She touched her chest over her heart helplessly, struggling to find the words.

That’s when Lena started talking about her adoption. The way it felt to enter this hard and cold household with only Lex there to make her feel any kind of wanted.

They talked long into the night about nothing and everything and Kara felt like she was coming home.

Now when Kara has a bad day and Alex is with them they crawl into Lena’s bed without question. They all wake up early for breakfast, weaving around each other in a familiar pattern as Alex cooks the eggs, Lena monitors the toast and Kara slices up fruit and pours the juice because, “You can’t be trusted with hot implements, Kara”.

“Orange juice?” Kara asks.

Lena hums a yes, but Alex shakes her head, already cradling a large black coffee as she nudges a near dozen eggs around the pan of simmering water and vinegar.

They eat breakfast with smiles and easy conversation until Lena goes to work, giving Alex a one armed hug and Kara a kiss on the cheek to make her blush.

Alex smirks at her. “So,” she starts.

“So what?” Kara asks innocently, clearing up their plates to load into the dishwasher.

“You and Lena. How’s that going?”

A blush on her cheeks already gives her away and she smiles shyly at Alex. “We’re taking it slow.”

“Mhm.” Alex looks like she doesn’t believe her.

“We are!” Kara protests, trying not to think too much about the few heavy makeout sessions she and Lena had indulged in. Never too much, always with their clothes on and still enough to take her breath away. “It’s… nice,” she says finally and Alex smiles.

“I’m happy for you.”

  
It takes another month for Kara to start any kind of heroics again. It’s an accident again, when she’s in a store as it’s being held up. She takes a shotgun blast to the chest, smirking as the robber stares and hands over the gun before running away. She feels exhilarated and tells Lena as much over the phone.

“I’m happy for you Kara.” Lena’s voice is so sincere and filled with affection that Kara is almost skipping. “What are you doing right now?”

  
Kara goes to L Corp, greeting Lena with a hug before picking her up and twirling them on the spot. Lena laughs with the joy of it, giggling by the time Kara puts her back on her feet. When she pulls away her hands are resting over Kara’s heart and she frowns, looking at the scorched hole in her shirt. The shotgun had done a number on it, tearing away everything at the front.

“Come with me.” Lena takes Kara’s hand and leads her back to the elevator, down several floors and into a lab. It’s quieter than Kara expects.

“Where is everyone?” she asks.

Lena looks around the empty room. “This is my private lab.” She’s looking at a display panel on a large case against the wall. The glass is frosted, but Kara can see something dark blue and red inside. “I’ve been working on something for you,” she says and there’s a click, the glass sliding back to reveal a long dark suit. A super suit, too close in design to Superman’s to be anything else.

“Oh Lena.” Kara steps forward, a hand trailing over the strange material. Dark blue and red with the emblem of the house El proud on the chest.

“If you don’t want to wear it, or change anything then that’s fine, it’s just a prototype that I thought could come in handy…” she starts babbling about the material, the bullet proof and still elastic thread that she developed in this very lab, how she wanted to offer something that could withstand everything she can. On and on until she seems to run out of breath.

Kara looks from the suit back to Lena. “It’s perfect,” she says and then they’re kissing, Kara is kissing her thanks into Lena’s lips with as much passion as she can muster until Lena is backed against a table and kissing her back just as hard.

//

“How do I look?” Kara steps out of the bathroom with her new suit, tight across her skin.

They’d opted for no skirt meaning the tight fabric does make her feel a little exposed. Arms and legs on full display. When Lena turns to look, her cheeks flame immediately red which is as good an answer as any.

“Like a hero,” Lena says. “Now for the final touch.” Lena unclips the black case that Kara hadn’t been allowed to look into. “I just finished this a few days ago. It’s fire and bullet resistant like the suit, but a little softer so it flows more easily.” She pulls a long red cape out with a flourish, holding it out for Kara to feel.

It’s soft under Kara’s touch. Flows through her fingers like silk. She turns around so Lena can drape it over her shoulders, clipping one side then the other in under the collar at the front. The weight feels natural on her shoulders, as natural as Lena’s fingers on her cheek as she gives her a sweet chaste kiss. Kara’s hands automatically move up to Lena’s hips, but then Lena is turning away.

“Before we get distracted,” she says looking up through her lashes, biting her lip.

Kara oh so wants to get distracted, but they don’t have time. Lena booked an hour at this aircraft testing facility for Kara to try out her suit “under controlled circumstances” and she doesn’t want to waste it.

She follows Lena outside, the red boots making her feel taller and more confident as she strides across the tarmac.

“Ready?” she asks Lena.

“Whenever you are, Superwoman.” Lena says it with a wink and before Kara can get distracted by that smile, she launches herself into the air.

The suit is everything and more as she speeds through the air fast enough to break the sound barrier. She speeds upwards into the sky until the air is cold and thin before turning and diving hard and fast toward the ground then down through the soil and rock to burst out again in a flurry of dirt, spinning fast to clear it off her suit.

Lena whoops at the display and Kara laughs as she loops through the air, feeling the cape flutter around her, the symbol of El bright on her chest. She blasts upwards again with the wind on her face and sun at her back, and after a final loop speeds for the ground. She imagines a sea eagle soaring downwards and sweeping up at the last minute. Instead, she slows her disents and slams into the ground, legs bent so she lands kneeling, arms by her side. She imagines Alex laughing at her. “Now that’s a Superhero landing, Kara”.

Lena runs toward her laughing and shouting about how amazing she looked. Kara is ready to laugh as she stands, but then she sees the look in Lena’s eyes just before she slams into her grabbing Kara’s collar with both hands and pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s deep, hot and passionate and Kara’s hands drift to Lena’s ass as Lena’s tongue flicks past her lips.

“Unf,” she grunts at the teeth scraping over her lower lip, pulling back to look Leena in the eye.

“Kara,” Lena say, her voice low, eyes piercing. “Take me home.”

//

  
They’re naked before they reach Lena’s bedroom, sheer will taking them past the couch to the more comfortable bed. Kara thrills at every touch, breaking away just to soak Lena in, naked body everything and more than she’d imagined. Lena does much the same, hands running over Kara’s abs, the muscles leading a v between her hips and the dip of muscles across her back with relish before grasping her breasts, sucking at her neck. She lets Kara lead her back to the bed and slides across the covers to lay against the pillow. She’s breathing heavily, pulling her hair into a messy bun with the hair tie from her wrist. Kara smiles at the action.

“This is serious business,” Lena says teasingly. “And I want you stradling me sooner than later. Without my own hair all in my mouth.”

Kara blinks, trying to find words to reply. She settles instead for climbing over Lena, straddling her as instructed and capturing Lena’s nipple in her mouth. Lena curses, her hips immediately starting a rhythm as Kara grabs at Lena’s other nipple, her free hand sliding over Lena’s stomach. Feeling overwhelms her and Kara feels she could cry with how right this all feels. Every nerve in her body is alive, every sense soaking in Lena’s presence.

She looks up to Lena’s eyes with her hand tracing low over Lena’s hip, edging towards wet heat. She releases the nipple from her teeth to ask, “Are you sure?”.

Lena nods urgently and Kara follows the instruction to slip her fingers down, stroking through Lena’s folds, collecting wetness on her fingers to stroke up and swirl over her clit. Small whimpers escape Lena’s lips and Kara can feel in the quiver of her thighs that Lena won’t last long. Kara knows that she won’t either. But it doesn’t matter because they have all the time in the world to do this over and over again. Kara lets her hips fall against Lena’s thigh, knowing that she’ll leave a wet trail there. The flush to Lena’s cheeks shows she certainly doesn’t mind.

“Kara, please. Fuck.”

Kara’s hips buck and she focuses to regain her control. “How do you feel about…”

Lena looks at her, breathing heavily, trust in her eyes.

“How do you feel about penetration.”

Lena curses again. “Very fucking good Kar— ah!” Lena’s voice rises in a scream quickly muffled by her hand as Kara slips one finger inside her then another. “Yes, like that.”

The feeling is everything and more as Kara slides in side her, glorying in the touch, feeling out the new, relishing in the unfettered access. She wants to follow fingers with her tongue, but doesn’t want to stop licking at Lena’s collarbones, her jaw and throat.

Lena’s a talker and Kara thinks it’s the hottest thing she’s ever heard, taking every direction of faster, harder as her personal mission. Lena is getting wetter, flooding her palm, the heat wrapped around her fingers quivering. Kara’s other hand continues to wander Lena’s body, stroking her thighs as her tongue laves over Lena’s nipples, nipping experimentally across her breast, chest and neck, lightly biting and watching Lena’s face closely. The harder she bites, and the firmer she scratches at Lena’s skin, the more Lena whines, crying affirmation.

“Fuck. Kara. I’m gonna—” Lena’s voice trails off into a loud high pitched whine as her body convulses, Kara’s fingers slow down and finally stop with Lena’s weak tap on her wrist.

Kara’s clit throbs with Lena’s heartbeat, but she leans back a little to fall sideways, kissing across Lena’s chest, licking gently over the marks scattered across her skin until Lena pulls her up for a sloppy, blissed out kiss.

“Oh wow,” Lena sighs with a laugh.

“Mhm,” Kara replies with a grin, kissing Lena’s bare shoulder. Her fingers are still inside Lena so she feels the little aftershocks that shiver through her with every movement.

“I can’t feel my toes.”

“Good. That’s what I was going for.”

Lena laughs again and relaxes against her, aftershocks fading, with little flutters of pleasure making her smile flicker as Kara withdraws her fingers. It’s with a dazed expression that she watches Kara lift up her hand covered entirely in Lena’s pleasure and licks her fingers clean.

“You are insanely hot.” Lena shakes her head like she can’t quite believe it.

Kara kisses Lena’s cheek and settles her head comfortably on her shoulder, tangling their legs together. “You feel amazing. I really like you,” she sighs.

Lena laughs again, running her fingers through Kara’s hair. “I really like you too,” she says and Kara can hear other words behind them. Love settles in her chest, but it’s too soon for that. Too rushed in the midst of everything they’ve been through. And they have time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ask really nicely I'll write a smutty sequel.


End file.
